Gains and Losses

After a fight, there's always a winner and a loser, sometimes, but rarely a tie. It's just saddening to see people so unable to mediate an answer and come to an agreement admist a conflict. I guess it's sometimes unreasonable to believe a lot of people can transcend their human selfishness to see things from an eternal perspective.

Sometimes people are just so cyclical. Out of vengeance, they harm others, creating a contingent grudge. The grudge spits up cyclical destruction and relationships are damaged.

This semester, I've had conflicts with numerous friends. Sure I have made many friends, but I have also lost a few, and especially some close ones. I still strive to reach out to them, but at times it seems so futile. This is because they are so insuspectible to change. Some people just have hard hearts that are stubborn and selfish. They only seek to benefit themself and are unable to see things in society's view. They seek to elevate themselves by putting others down. These people just seem like a burden on society.

Trying to understand this, I realize it is simply human nature to be selfish. It's just an innate characteristc for one to improve his/herself. Even these people seem so repugnant, I still love them. People are still people. Love must transcend everything else to truly impact someone. The only chance people will change is if they are exposed to love. It seems like love can soften a hardened heart, leaving it suspectible to change.

Listening to the new Starfield CD (thx TJ), one song talks about finding beauty in brokenness and broken people, how love can change everything. It's inspiring to be reaffirm that there are other people that share my point of view.

Toxic

Lately, I've been downing various types of energy and heavily caffeinated drinks to sustain my mental apparatus in preparation for the difficult final examinations. Well, recently, I've been informed by an experienced college friend that they seriuosly bloat you up and just aren't good for you in general. I've experienced that first hand when I dropped a few improptu deuces and felt a certain burning. Ok, I won't get into that.

But my point is that, I'm putting all I have into my studies, and the ends justifies the means. I have no other choice but to be a soldier and steadfastly withstand the trials and tribulations of college. I'm sure my parents would be proud of me ... at least to some extent.

At least these things are the real deal and do give you bursts of energy to complete essays and exams. Except, these things are all chemicals just running through your body. I'm gonna hopefully switch over to this:
This at least has natural coffee beans. Hopefully I won't die from these items of toxicity.

Nostalgia

Taking rest breaks to sustain my sanity, I would often venture onto the seventh floor, in search of the friendliness and hospitality of Tim Jin. The other day, I found myself playing classics such as Castlevania and Super Mario Brothers 3. Every second that my eyes and ears were in tune with games, the memories of my youth and innocence flood back in. The music reminded me of the careless days where Tim and I would play games till we die. It was refreshing to reminisce my past; to remember my previous dreams and goals and to evaluate my current standings (in which i realized I should stop playing to finish studying).

The amazing thing that I discovered the other day, was that Jenny Choi was a PRO in Super Mario Brothers 3. She so easily defeat multitudes of koopas, those ugly potato like enemies, and bosses in a flash. I was awe-struck and I found a new profound respect for her and all the other good female video game players.

Opening the Door

I'm stepping out. Out of my little cave, and into the seemingly endless business of the world. I turn the knob and my imagination is free.